Our kids are 20 months apart. We planned it that way and I’m glad we did. My A-type personality would not function well with kids with vast age differences.
I always knew I couldn’t have just one baby, so a second was a very natural next step. I never gave it much thought, other than “yep, we’re having another baby, this’ll be great for both of them”. I never knew that mom-guilt would hit me like a Mac truck during the later months of pregnancy, and damn that shit is serious! Why doesn’t anyone mention this? People only say the good stuff, congrats, this is so great, the kids are going to be best friends yadda yadda yaada.
I felt very guilty that Thomas (my eldest) would be left out, feel slighted, or that our relationship would change. I went out of my way to give him lots of love and attention (insert crazy here) and I did this even more so once the baby arrived. I just didn’t want him feel like old news. After mentioning these feelings / actions to a handful of my girlfriends with multiple kids, they all said “oh ya, I felt guilty when I had my second or my third etc etc” WTF!! Why didn’t anyone tell me about this?
Zoe came into the world like a lion and I’m certain she will always be a lion. She has a big personality, demands attention and at the ripe age of 10.5 months she can easily bully her big brother around. Adding number two wasn’t hard per se, Thomas adjusted wonderfully, I don’t even know if you’d call it adjusting he just went with the flow and continued on his happy self. We kept T with our nanny-share, he loves being with his friends, so having two has been easier since I only have one during the week.
The hardest part about adding number two is that you’re basically playing Russian Roulette, you just don’t know what you’re going to get. And that’s the God’s honest truth. Thomas and Zoe are nothing alike, and that’s the good part I guess, because life would be pretty boring if they were the same.
- Thomas was/is a fantastic sleeper (slept through the night since 7 wks), Zoe was up multiple times a night until I sleep trained her at 5.5. months. (Read how we sleep-trained Zoe here)
- Thomas loved all baby food, Zoe gagged at every flavor, you’d have thought I was trying to feed her cat food.
- Thomas had 8 teeth by 10 months, Zoe has almost 4.
- Thomas did not crawl, Zoe is all over the place, you can’t stop this one.
- Thomas walked two days before his first birthday, Zoe is walking with a walker so I am very excited to see when she actually decides to give it a go solo.
Do you have multiple kids, how was the transition? During my entire second pregnancy I said “this is it, the last baby”, now 11 months in I’m back on the fence. How did you decide to add a third?
And then amongst all the crazy, there’s this…..
PS — I also need to mention that these gorgeous photos were taken by our friend and fantastic photographer Catherine Farquharson. This is Zoe’s newborn session from Jan 2014, she’s one month in these images.by